MY OMNITOOL IS SCREAMING!!1

a thread by BOSS started on 2188-08-10 00:31:41 last post on 2188-08-15 18:47:07


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BOSS who cares
hey! i need one of you smart shits out there to stop this duMB FUCKING THING FROM SCREAMING! SERIOUSLY LISTEN TO THIS SHIT!

An ungodly cacophony that sounds like a Reaper scratching a giant chalkboard

YEAH! THAT'S LOUD AS FUCK ISN'T IT? AND IT'S KINDA PISSING ME OFF! SO IF ONE OF YOU SMART LITTLE ASSHOLES CAN TELL ME HOW TO SHUT THIS THING UP I'LL BE HAPPIER THAN A VORCHA....

FUCK! JUST TELL ME HOW TO SHUT THIS THING UP

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Mekan of Omega
In the immortal words of Jorgal Dwick

hawhawhaw

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[Mekan Computer Security], now based on scenic Erszbat Omega! Call today, and let ME kill the bugs!
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Vigilance Ever vigilant, for they are watching.
Turn the sound off.

C-Sec mail [here], personal [here], FEMES [here]. Is that all? Can I go?
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BOSS who cares
SHITLEGS wrote:In the immortal words of Jorgal Dwick

hawhawhaw

SHIT LEGS, YOU BITCHFUCK, DID YOU DO THIS? FUCKING MAKE IT STOP BEFORE I FIND YOU AND END YOU
DUMBASS wrote:Turn the sound off.

IT DOESN'T GO OFF YOU FUCKING IDIOT
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Mekan of Omega
Krogan Fucktard wrote:MAKE IT STOP

WHAT'S THAT, TURN IT UP

OK, HERE YA GO BUDDY

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Azure Lips
Oh dear, have you tried turning it off and back on again?
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Hammerhead
Only way to fix it is shooting yourself in the head.

Repeatedly.

Titan Corporation, Myrmidon Security Services
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Doctor Love
I bed you downloaded some homebrew omni-blade template, didn't you?

Yeah! Don't bother listening to those silly manufacturers who say your old model doesn't have a sophisticated enough fabricator, they're just trying to rob you!

And there you go, I hope it blows up in your face!
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Dyson
Appending browser settings.

Codewhile (page.name = "MY OMNITOOL IS SCREAMING!!1") {
__browser.audio.intensity = 0;
}

Browser settings appended.
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BOSS who cares
SHITLEGS wrote:
WHAT'S THAT, TURN IT UP

OK, HERE YA GO BUDDY

I AM GOING TO KILL YOU SHITLEGS, DO YOU HEAR ME? I AM GOING TO HUNT YOU DOWN, I AM GOING TO GRAB YOU BY YOUR SHITTY LITTLE LEGS, I AM GOING TO TEAR YOUR LEGS OFF, I AM GOING TO BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH YOUR OWN VOIDDAMMNED SHITTY LEGS LIVE ON THE EXTRANET SO ALL THESE SHITLORDS CAN SEE IT LIVE!

NOW TURN THIS FUCKING THING OFF BECAUSE YOU ARE FUCKING WITH SOMEONE WHO IS LITERALLY A FUTURE BATTLEMASTER1
Azure Lips wrote:Oh dear, have you tried turning it off and back on again?

IT DOESN'T GO OFF YOU FUCKING STUPID WHORE HOLY SHIT PAY ATTENTION FUCK






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Mekan of Omega
dipshit wrote:herpdederpderpherpharpadarp

right literally a battlemaster

lemme just amplify it some more an-

excuse me one second

what's the geth doing

WHAT ARE YOU DOING DYSON

WHY

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Dyson
Appending browser settings.

Codewhile (page.name = "MY OMNITOOL IS SCREAMING!!1") {
__browser.audio.intensity = 0;
__display.gui.font.size = 10;
}

Browser settings appended.
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Mekan of Omega
User Dyson should elaborate the fuck out of its intent behind appending browser settings right the fuck now

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Azure Lips
Mandatory wrote:
Azure Lips wrote:Oh dear, have you tried turning it off and back on again?

IT DOESN'T GO OFF YOU FUCKING STUPID WHORE HOLY SHIT PAY ATTENTION FUCK
So your omnitool never runs out of power? Because last I checked these things battery need to recharge every so often.
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Aimless Drifter SEBASTIAN LANGSTON.
EX-ALLIANCE ENGINEER.
STATE YOUR PRICE.
If there's an issue with the sound then you should probably check for a system integrity failure.

Open .ctrlcmmnd in the default options menu and type in ///=41.system.check.41-1.true. A whole list of subfolders should be bought up labelled as "check.41.1", "check.41.2" and so on. We're looking for a specific file in one of the even numbered folders labelled as "source.check.v41.1.prog" that should open up all source on your omnitool related to your audio system.

Now, I MAY be wrong on this, but seeing as you're a krogan you must have obtained an omnitool from a krogan heavy system. Bear in mind the omnitools pooled into those markets come from large asari firms so expect the coding language to be some asari form. Running it through the basic built in translator won't work because most asari conding languages have unique terms and parameters that don't pop up anywhere else, so try to process each section individually.

You should eventually find a section typed down as "audio.soundsize = #" where # is a number. If it's 5 or higher than that's your problem. But we'll need to do something else so we can change it. Enable administrator control and go into your O// drive (Some omnitools don't have this, so search online to try and find the nearest equivalent.) and search up FUNCTIONS/USER/D/824/5/TRUEVARIABLES/AUDIO/9394/BIN/3 where you'll find an executable program that'll allow you to modify audio.soundsize. Now go back to the source code. (You'll have to redo everything to get back to it as it can't run alongside other programs.) and change the number to 1.

HEY PRESTO, your problems should be fixed! If not, then it's broke. EASY AS THAT.
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BOSS who cares
DEADFUCKINGSHITLEGS wrote:
right literally a battlemaster

lemme just amplify it some more an-

excuse me one second

what's the geth doing

WHAT ARE YOU DOING DYSON

WHY

HE BETTER BE FINDING A WAY TO FIX THIS SHIT THAT'S WHAT! OR PUT THIS SHIT ON YOUR FUCKING OMNITOOL INSTEAd

Azure Lips wrote: So your omnitool never runs out of power? Because last I checked these things battery need to recharge every so often.

I'M TELLing you it doesnt go off you stupid fuck. you hit the button. it stays on. you hit the button again it stays ON. you FUCKING THROW THE THING AGAINST THE FUCKING VOIDDAMN WALL AND IT flickers AND BUt IT STAYS ON FUUUCK

I can't GET THE BATTERy out because my fucking hands are too fucking big, FUCKING ASSHOLE

SHITHEAD wrote:A BUNCH OF SHIT

i can't even read this SHIT what the fuck is this even supposed what the fuck is a vARIAble fuck u

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Mekan of Omega

Whiny Bitch wrote: I'M TELLing you it doesnt go off you stupid fuck. you hit the button. it stays on. you hit the button again it stays ON. you FUCKING THROW THE THING AGAINST THE FUCKING VOIDDAMN WALL AND IT flickers AND BUt IT STAYS ON FUUUCK

I can't GET THE BATTERy out because my fucking hands are too fucking big, FUCKING ASSHOLE

Hahah

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[Mekan Computer Security], now based on scenic Erszbat Omega! Call today, and let ME kill the bugs!
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Dyson
Appending browser settings.

Codewhile (page.name = "MY OMNITOOL IS SCREAMING!!1") {
__browser.audio.intensity = 0;
__display.gui.font.size = 10;
__filter = true;
}

Browser settings appended.
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Doctor Love
Mandatory, have you tried stressing it? If you hold the main module firmly by both ends and twist, the battery should come loose enough for you to pull it out.

Dyson, quit doing scary tech stuff.
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Triskele
Mute.

May you never forget what is worth remembering, nor ever remember what is best forgotten.

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