Death Threat Thread

We've done insult threads, critical threads, politeness threads, compliment threads, etc.

We've yet to do this.

Rules: Issue a death threat to the motherfucker who posted above you.

Go.

I SWEAR to GOD if you don't FIX YOUR LEGS I am going to SHOVE THEM DOWN YOUR THROAT AND PULL THEM STRAIGHT BACK OUT OF YOUR ASS.

AND THEN I'LL USE THEM TO CLUB YOUR HEAD IN WITH.

I'll make sure to tell Emily to hold you down while I do that.

Actually, in hindsight, I don't really think I could do that myself. So I'll tell Emily to do it for me.

skhash shall marinate you in ale with light nutmeg spicing!

how that for threat?

Skhash, here's what I'm going to do to you.

I am going to spike you to a wall. And then I will cover you in lighter-fluid and burn you alive. And then when you have burnt to ash, I will promptly urinate on your ashes and then scatter them to the winds under an alien sun, as far as possible from Heshtok as I can manage by galactic travel standards.

Oh this seems fun... I can use a bit of this form of venting 3:D


Well then, Mekan of Omega.

I will stab each and every eye of yours and then stick them right out of their sockets and force you to eat all four of them while you scream in agony and bleed. Then I will stick both of my sharp claws deep into the upper sockets, dig into your bloody brain with my talons and TWIST...


(JK of course. Love you and each and every member here! <3)

EDIT: I just realized that I'll probably have something pretty gruesome coming my way soon... Oh boy.

EDIT No2: Well... That went better than expected! 3:D

Am I drunk enough for this...?

OF COURSE I'M DRUNK ENOUGH FOR THIS!!

Pilot! I'm going to sit here and laugh as your INFERIOR biology drags you to an early grave, secure in the knowledge that I'll live your lifespan several times over!

...

...

HAH!

... Please don't tell the partners I post here.

Good news doc, I'm going take a sledgehammer to your fucking head and teach you that long life is NEVER guaranteed...oh, and have a nice day!

I will give you a swift and messy death by force-feeding you a burst of ballistic blades.

One day I'll send someone to collect you and I'll make sure you become Flesh Vats employee of the month before sending you off to the snuff pile.

skhash shall clone army of abattoir clones and send them against you and your kin.

Well isn't this unpleasant.

I never understood the concept of the death threat; it seems to me like a way for frustrated, powerless people to try to cope with the stresses of their situation, which is fair enough, but those who actually follow through with it bewilder me. Warning your target seems so counterintuitive.

For example, if I had anything against Mr. Skash, he would wake up tomorrow and find himself already dead.

You'd better triple check that your plates are still arranged properly when you get up from now on because you're on my Extranet Hitlist. You may find yourself missing a few...OR MORE THAN A FEW.

I can kill you through the extranet.

Just some food for thought, Will.

I don't even need to do anything to you. I can just let you try and Batarian Bodyslam me and you'll do it yourself.

yer 'en my list.

[UPLOAD COMMENCING]

I will tie you to the front of my car.

I'm sure yer familiar with the Cartagena Hemorrhoids. That's you. And I'm gonna make you eat it.

I'm going to flay you alive in front of Alliance HQ, and send your fuckin' skin to admiral Whack-it.

What the fuck are you talking about. What are you even-[STT Activated]
"Wait, what the fuck."

*whirring sounds, followed by the sound of an electric discharge*

"Ow! You fucker! What the hell was that for? Are you completely insane!?

...At least you reminded me to fix the taser on this fucking thing."