Work. Out.

[crossposted to Citadel Discussion Network]

Because I am sick of seeing your flabby, disgusting bodies whenever I go out I am saying this.

Exercise

No. Really. Get your face out of that disgusting slop you call food and go exercise. It doesn't have to be at a gym (in truth, I don't want to see any of you at the gym until you stop looking like shit) and it doesn't have to be something intense. For ancestor's sake just run or get an exercise bike. Just do something. I guarantee just fifteen minutes of exercise a day alone will make you not look and feel like shit and make me not want to vomit.

Unless you want to be on the same level as that corpulent creature that runs DDS and his fat sidekick

Fuck. You.

Honey, I do work out. It's amazing how many calories you burn when you climb twenty meters over scaffolding or run through seven miles of twisting heating and cooling ducts just to get home, all while avoiding murderspree gangs or bored mercs. Omega's the best kind of gym you'll never want to join.

You can just take your helmet off and kill yourself.


Of course it is. At the very least its probably not filled to the brim with lazy, fat idiots like C-space is.

Actually if I took my helmet off I'd get sick, but maybe not die, thanks to the geth.

How are your prospects?

Pariah, I am usually in my peak physical fitness level. My workout regiment is planned out for an entire week and I jog every day.
That was, before I got pregnant, and now I'm more flabby than I'd like to be. I want to bulk up again, lose the baby weight and tackle next year's return to work with renewed vigor. No more excuses and sitting on the couch!


I've started yoga and bought resistance vests and clothing. Can you please recommend any gyms?

HEY

I'll have you know I work out, like, fer two fuckin' hours a day.

I'm just dat awesome

Better than yours obviously

Coming here to vent about your problems, are we?

Seems like something's struck a nerve to have made you go as far as posting this on multiple sites just for the sake of complaining to people you'll probably never meet in person.

Now I'm just imagining you wearing a headband and wrist warmers over your suit to do a few laps.

He does.

Trust me, the entire upper floor can hear him jogging in place. It's like listening to pachyderms take tap dancing lessons.

Your building is re-enforced, right?

I get the feeling the upper floor is now the ground floor.

Basement, even.

Complaining about something that isn't actually her problem is basically what she does. It's much easier than contributing to the galaxy in any meaningful way, after all.

Oh, I'm sure a fine, upstanding quarian exile such as herself can undertake all kinds of productive contributions to society!

Such as:

I don't even care that she's an exile, particularly. It'd just be nice if she'd set the bitch switch once to 'off' once in a while.

Now you know she's not going to do that.

Probably because she knows it's the only reason people talk to her.

I'd like to think that telling a bunch of idiots to get off their asses and exercise would count as "meaningful"


ugh

Why can't both of your hearts just explode

You'd be wrong. Even assuming we were your target audience, all your approach would do is offend people.

Hey, imagine that.

Seriously, just cut the shit.

'Cause I spend a shitload'a time doin' squaaaaats.

Best fuckin' gen-ex in da galaxy, squaaaaaats.

You're the one who is soft.