To Whom It May Concern

If you were seeking employment by one Rom Anbel, also known as OneClassyBloke, I regret to inform you that your services are no longer required.

Care to elaborate, miss?

Use your imagination.

Considering what occurred recently in the unit he was occupying, "imagination" is not a necessity.

Details, however, would have been intriguing, miss. I suspect this is a development that had to have been of great interest to you.

He got sliced in open air. Died of the bends, looks like. Care to elaborate yourself, since you seem to know so much about it?

It is my business to know.

An unfortunate way to go, I suppose, but not wholly undeserved.

Hey. Hey. Stop using the Eclipse logo if you're not actually with the corp, you shrelling mini-buckethead.

Ah. This will be adorable.

Oh jorgal dwick, what would I do without you. OH wait, you're not jorgal dwick. If you're not part of Dwick Syndicate, I suggest you stop using his insults and get some of your own.

That may be too tall an order for your tiny brain though, seeing as you couldn't even come up with a more interesting username than the most common slight against your own company. And you claim I'm the one being disrespectful to our logo. Tsk Tsk.

So was this a paying job or personal?

You see, that's the real curious thing.

It wasn't me.

Mistaken for Dwick? Maybe I should ask Command to have me play gropo again, I never actually got mixed up with a morbidly obese lizard back when that was the case.

Wheel above, why couldn't you have just pretended to be part of the Suns? They're already fucked up enough that no one would blink twice at them hiring on a quarian kid with all the shit going on at the top. Or the Pack, because, well, the Pack. You didn't need to pick us.

People die every minute without the help of a hired hand.

Ah suit punctures.

Always an interesting way to watch a volus die by.

Oh no, this one's all yours.

Now tell me, don't you feel proud to be part of Eclipse?

I never felt otherwise, just don't get why the hatchling has to pretend to be with us.

Must have seen something she liked.

Our logo, not yours. But, really, I can't blame you for trying to pass as Eclipse rather than Suns. Rather have a yellowbelly than Blueballs.

Someone's jealous.

Ahem. I believe the phrase is 'what he (Yellowbelly) said'.

Now, normally I wouldn't bother hassling an idiotic child pretending to be a quote, 'badass mercenary' on the extranet. Athame knows, there's much too many of them for that (yes, dear, you're hardly being unique with this little charade). However, since the members of this board seem willing to believe anything, and I don't take kindly to people making an absolute mockery of the institute to which I have dedicated half a century of my life, I will make an exception, just this once. Don't you just feel special, dear?

I'll be blunt, so as not to overtax your little mind: be thankful that you're just a child messing about, because I couldn't care less how infamous you supposedly are. If a teenaged quarian somehow shows up in my ranks, despite my refusal to believe that the recruiters would be that desperate, they wouldn't make it one week under my command.