The Official Private Messages Thread.

Private Message to Albert Lowell Need information about turian contraception, written at s grade moron reading level, ASAP.

-Kay

Private Message to Kayana Pesh Kay,

There are many options, it’s really hard to get a moron proof one, since a moron can mess up anything that said I just lists them below, I guess what I’m saying is go with the simplest ones, (condoms,) or the ones that is fire and forget like implants.


Instant Protection (but this needs to happen during every engagement)
Male Condom: slip it on.
Female Condom: slip it in.
Spermicide: apply it as instructed.

Non instant easy to use, (this is not instant but is once active effective over multiple encounters)
The Patch; stick it to soft skin/flesh (like the neck or joints,) it takes about a week and a half to become active read the insert for exact instructions.)


Easy Mid to Long-term Protection (this gives you days or even weeks worth of protection, see Package insert for more information)
Male/Female contraceptive pill: swallow-it as instructed. (takes about a week full before giving high coverage.)
Male/Female contraceptive injection: inject yourself with it as instructed (takes two-to-three days before being fully active)


Long term protection needing professional (doctor) for application (gives long to indefinite protection, consult the doctor for more information.)
Contraceptive Implant: Takes about a week before becoming active, lasts for years or decades depending on type.

Male vasectomy; there are different types of vasectomies; from false ones where a contraceptive mechanism is placed in the vas deferens, (generally a sperm shredding polymer,) to a one where it is tied off to one where there is an actual cut.)

Sterilization/Castration and other permanent removal of organs.


-Albert

Private Message to Albert Lowell

Please don't tempt me. She managed to find the stupidest, most uneducated but unfortunately allegedly handsome Sundowner who is already the babydaddy to two kids. Who owes me credits.

-Kayana Pesh

Private Message to Albert Lowell
Please don't tempt me. She managed to find the stupidest, most uneducated but unfortunately allegedly handsome Sundowner who is already the babydaddy to two kids. Who owes me credits.

-Kayana Pesh

Private Message to Kayana Pesh Kay,

You know you can get arrested if you do that without his permission, anyway I am sure it is not that bad; for one there is a difference between uneducated and stupid, and in places like Solregit genuine stupidity is quick to perish.

Maybe you are framing your questions wrong, or fail to look at the situation from his/their point of view, use diplomacy, it does work.


-Albert

P.S. last time I have known that a boy owned you money you turned him from scoundrel into a someone who is considering the priesthood (if my sources are to be believed.) Just something to consider.

Private Message to Abert Lowell
It is pretty bad , and my attempts so far have been unsuccessful.

I didn't change Haddas. He was already smart and determined and faithful. Nobody can change another person. And fuck whatever disgusting thing about implants you're going to say next.

-Kay

Private Message to Albert Lowell
It is pretty bad , and my attempts so far have been unsuccessful.

I didn't change Haddas. He was already smart and determined and faithful. Nobody can change another person. And fuck whatever disgusting thing about implants you're going to say next.

-Kay

Private Message to Kayana Pesh You did not change him, but you did help him find other things to do with his life.

And I would not know what I could tell you about implants that would be disgusting.

-Albert

Heavily encrypted message to user Hybrid Hello again. I'm happy to say that some sort of compromised have been found for your little problem. Although Slaves4Us cannot divulge this information directly to you, a partner of ours is privy to it and will give it to you in exchange of your participation of a job on the Citadel. If our information is right, it should be something in your competence.
During the job you'll be required to keep Slaves4Us' involvement a secret, for both our safeties.
Please meet their agent here at 10Pm Citadel time tomorrow. Good luck, and thank you for your trust in Slaves4Us.

Heavily encrypted message to user Tish from (blocked)Greetings Ms Tish. I'm happy to announce that the job you've been contacted is finally greenlighted. The compensation will be as we discussed, generous. If not available please tell us as soon as possible, if not please meet our agent here at 10Pm Citadel time tomorrow.

To: Lanning, William Gabriel Re: Application for Employment

Dear Mr. Lanning,

Thank you for your interest in the position of VI Engineer, at Titan we are always on the lookout for new talent and capable individuals such as yourself.

Please select which of the following times you will be available for a comm interview with one of our Sapient Resources personnel in the schedule attached to this message.

Thank you and best wishes from the Titan staff

Sincerely,

Karren Seilding, Titan Corporation Sapient Resources Manager, Citadel Branch.

Private message to user: Celestial Palette
Subject: you have to hear this, seriouslyshe talked
siobhán
she actually talked
listen
[File: SiobFirstWord.aud] I can't even brain
just listen to it

"Reply"Finding who? I'll help out if I can.

Private Letter to Natalie King
Hi, Natalie. I promised you a big PM earlier this week and here it is.
Give or take a few weeks, the Thompson family is going to be expanding in late 2188.
There is no chance your puny civilization can survive. Make your time.
Don't go off and tell /everybody/. When I told Chris, she practically exploded.
My neck still hurts from the hug.

Sarah

Email to user:VigilantVanguardCongratulations! You've got your work cut out for you, lemme tell you. That's great news! Keep safe.

"To: Titan Sapient Resources"I will be available for a comm interview at [this] time. I look forward to the interview.

Private Message to user: EmileOB
Subject: Yay!She talked? That's awesome, congrats! :)

...

...wait. Did she just...?

I wish you could see how much I'm grinning now. And falling out of my chair giggling :) :) :) Jia's wondering why I just burst her eardrums squealing. :p How did Siobhán even pick that up? She sounds so cute, too - now I'm gonna definitely have to stop by before we head to Demeter!

...Oh, I hope Zela's not mad about it not being "mummy".

Private PM to Kate ParkerSpirits Kate, where the hell have you disappeared?! I've tried to call you and then message you when I got told you weren't on the grid! Are you even alive anymore?

Private PM to user PariahHello Kari.
Thank you for Dancers of Ghiernava, I enjoyed it a lot. May I say it is still strange to see your kind without a helmet? It seemed that a lot of those old holovids have been lost and forgotten in our area of space when your kind was stuck on the Flotilla.
It was a bit of an adventure to purchase the vid actually but now I would like to see more. I could get my hands on a Snahin instruction vid that is most likely 500 years old. By now I am almost used to that unhooded quarian host’s face:)
I have a vid of my humble progress so far [here], you may find it hilarious... if so, just take it for a laugh, I'm getting better though! Maybe I can interest one of my friends, because it will seriously be more fun.

To be honest, you are one of only two quarians I kind of know and the only one I could seriously ask about it since the other one is… well, she may not be exactly of help when it comes to visual arts at the moment. I was thinking, since you seemed to be interested in Tasara, why don’t we make a bit of a cultural exchange? How’s that Tasara going for you anyway, are you still at it?

regards
T.

Private Message to Taleeze
RE: Dancing

Hello.

I am glad that you enjoyed seeing what my people used to be before the geth ruined us.

As for your video. I laughed (and I am still laughing as I type this) other species always look so ridiculous when they try most of our dances. Your weird, clumsy (and weak looking) legs just aren't suitable for them.

But since you and A_Prom helped me with Tasara I will go ahead and link you to a video (found [here]) that will help accommodate you and your species. So while you still won't be able to compare to an actual quarian. You can at least look somewhat competent at it and won't end up as Galaxytube's latest silly video.

As for your second question: No. I am not making a video of myself dancing for you. But yes, I am still attending the lessons and doing rather well.

"Private Message to The_Sarcastic_Salarian"
Do you think Juhani's serious about his threat?

Private Message to User VigilantVanguardIf he is, he is a damned fool.

I'm not worried either way. My bar has been attacked twice by furball idiots. It will NOT be attacked a third time.

"Reply to the_sarcastic_salarian"
Mr. Spiza,

I like you.

I know you've been on this board a lot longer than I have. I have something that you can use if you'd like, at least, to defend against any unwanted aggression. I used to work for Jaquento Schmidt, and I'm sure you're well aware he owns a weapons/defense outlet on the Citadel, and I've got the installation codes for a defense application for omnitools.


[here] is a copy.

It's got -

A projected electric current (effectively a short-range taser, effective up to 15 feet)
Occular irritant spray (It paints the target as well, for easy police identification)
Fast C-SEC call button

You can also reach me [here].
My partner works on Zakera, you work on Zakera, we've got to look out for one another.
Sarah Thompson

PM to user Pariah RE: RE: Dancing

Kari,

Well, maybe something of that culture will come back with time. I don’t think the geth would be very much involved in dancing and such. This sure would come from the collective memory of quarians. I have noted how much you despise the geth. Time will tell - you may say, that’s the typical asari approach. It really is. Time’s one thing we have plenty of and it does tell us a lot of things.

As for the video, yeah, it’s a bit stupid, I know! Just please don’t spread it on the extranet.
I have downloaded your link, thank you. I find it a bit awkward how that asari is coming to no end explaining how different the quarian leg is to ours. The moment when she even showed that model of the knee mechanics was a bit overdoing it. The dancing performance towards the end was a reward though! I'll share it with Daia.

I observe how people on Illium look at quarians and seeing that there actually is something a lot of people admire about them makes it even more strange.

And no, I wasn’t fishing for you shaking your hips for me! It was just genuine interest in your progress on my part, believe it or not:)

PM to user asari_promiscuityHey Daia

Pariah from the boards sent me an additional [link] in regard of how asari can manage quarian dances better. Skip the lengthy explanation about quarian physique - you should be most perfectly acquainted with that anyway - it starts getting interesting a 11:30.
Just sharing, maybe it's something you haven't seen... but then... stupid to think that. Just looking for an excuse to ping my best friend:)

PM to TaleezeHi :)

Pass on my thanks for that (and thanks to you as well, of course) - Ana's talked about some of the classic styles, but there aren't that many vids floating around, I haven't seen this one before. That sequence of steps at 14:00 to 14:30 takes me back - it's not the same dance, but the steps are similar to one I used to do with a quarian I knew a long time ago. Funny how memory works, if you'd asked me yesterday I'd barely have remembered the actual steps, but now I can see it all, clear as sky.

Anyway. That's actually given me a couple ideas - my knees are all wrong for the real thing, but there's a few bits I think would add something unique to stuff I do regularly, and would fit in perfectly. I'll show you what I'm thinking next time we've got five minutes to spare at the club.

See you tomorrow, if I'm remembering schedules right.

Love,
Daia